Ever-changing Dreams of Life

Travelled the roads I always knew,

Wandered spaces I knew to be true

Enlightened I felt reaching home,

Until I packed up again, ready to roam.

Seeking stability of normal,

I led each day towards the goal.

What is normal, I begin to seek,

Goals unknown, I start to feel weak.

My heart wanders, telling me its fine,

My mind ponders, wandering what life is mine.

Change is the only constant they said —

Evolution of thoughts were never read.

Born I am to fulfill dreams,

Of whose, I fail to concieve.

Laborious learning begins with labor,

Constant endeavors to succeed over

The goals are fulfilled every day,

I pray for every obstacle to be at bay,

With the constant drive to achieve,

Childhood memories are left to grieve..

Mid-life crisis became quarter life searches

Fulfilling dreams I never envisioned

Directionless I am, seeking vision…

Wanting to travel roads I never knew,

Spaces I did not know were true.

Home is in my heart, my lofe.

In search of dreams, I begin to roam.

Life is more than this, you little one,

Fight for yourself, or from crisis you will run,

Dream big for life goals with passion and sense,

To let the world know, you belonged here once.

2017: The Year of Fosters, Pugs and Being a Crazy Pug Fam

2017 was a year I decided to sign up for some volunteering work, and signed up with the Pug rescue to foster pugs. We have a pug, Frisbee (not a rescue), who is 2 years old, and he is both my husband and my first dog ever.

Frisbee, our little baby

Since we felt comfortable with the breed, and we live in a house that cannot take bigger dogs, I signed up specifically to foster pugs.

Pugs, as every other breed, come with specific needs that have to be taken care of, given the bulgy eyes prone to infection, smashed faced driving breathing issues, and uncontrollable love for food, causing obesity and other forms of diseases. But it is all these traits that make a pug the cutest looking look — the bulgy eyes, smashed face, and barrel like body!

Thus far we fostered 3 pugs who all got adopted, with the last one being close to my heart, Geordi, now named Alan. He came to us newly blind and our bond grew together in him understanding his new life without sight, and us just cuddling him and letting him know its ok. He found a lovely caring home, and we could not have asked for anything better.

He was a bit rough on me to let go, he will always be my special one, little Geordi.

Geordi aka Alan, the one that stole my heart

Long story short, I took a break after Gerodi to recover, and decided now was a good time to start fostering again since I will have more time without the hassle of a full time job.

So I ended up going to the vet to get Mimosa, and ended up with two pugs, Mimosa and Rosemary, since they had a lot of rescue pugs come over the weekend.

Old Lady, Rosemary

Mimosa

Both of them are old (10–11years) ladies, but Mimosa needs a bit more care since her hind legs do not function as well and she also had bladder issues. This meant that she needs to relieve herself 3–4 times a day, and has medicines she takes through the day.

I felt like this was meant to be, since now I had the time to actually help her out and also get her used to her Wheelchair.

Rosemary is a chilled out grandma. She eats, sleeps, finds her space. She does not demand attention, but if you give it, she will roll over and show you where to give her the rubs. She is one of the easiest ones I’ve had so far!

This has been an exciting year for us since we started fostering. My husband was indifferent towards any pet until we brought Frisbee to our house and now we make friends based on how humans interact with animals…

The experience has been exhilarating, while a little overwhelming too. We love to bring home new fosters and learn about them, their personality and interact with them. But soon we realized our approach to dogs is not a “one-size fits all” strategy. Each one of them is different in their own ways, and it takes a day or two to understand them, and then modify how we handle them.

Frisbee is a spoiled only child, and he is my baby. But this experience has also helped him calm down and learn to share, just like it has taught us to share the love to every new foster that comes home.

Being so involved with rescue pugs has also made me more aware of other living things, and empathy towards other animals. I have been vegetarian for a while now, but as every day passes the need to be vegan grows stronger in me. Perhaps one day I will, one step at a time.

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I’ve learned a lot from these little rescues too. Most importantly, their resilience. These are dogs who have handled illness, new disabilities, old age, lost the homes they probably grew up in and landed in homes completely alien to them. But they continue to adapt and live happily.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. — Mark Twain

The first day I brought Geordi home, my husband was extremely sad just looking at the stitches on Geordi’s eyes. But Geordi was wagging his tail. He kept circling around the first few days and kept hitting himself on chairs, walls… until he did not. He learned to nagivate from the couch, to the floor, to his water and food. He did not just survive, but he fought to live happily. He would follow Frisbee based on the jingle from his collar.

I see the same with Mimosa, who was given up by her family due to personal reasons. Mimosa is old and overweight. She has arthritis, hind legs that do not function, and a bladder infection. Yet, she tried to crawl her way out of her bed to the kitchen. If she is resting near us, she reaches out and asks us to give her a belly rub. She is excited to go out… and most of all, she has not given up.

You know how they say, stop and smell the roses? It came from dogs who stopped to smell other dogs in the grass.

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“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” ― Will Rogers 

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With every foster I have always only wished one thing, that they find a family that loves them the way they unconditionally love every human. I hope to continue these efforts, and probably have more life lessons from these fur balls. Until then, I’ll just cuddle with them and let their wet noses rest on my lap, as I sip on a cup of coffee.

Follow Frisbee and our fosters on Instagram 

Untitled Life

It's tiring, exhausting
Strained relationships unable to let go
Left are many in the years of life
Better that, than struggle survival

But there is one, that is of a strong bond
Love, a word of infinite meaning
Feels like a song, never ending
A ballad of emotions, dance of beauty

Thoughts never built before
Emotions that were believed to be non existent, until now
Sensations that defined everything denied
Life never felt so alive...

Poetry intertwined to form a story
Happiness intervened through melancholy
Tears were not bad anymore,
Until the sounds of pain fell through

Strained relationships of love,
Wandering thoughts to find a way
Treacherous as it is,
The journey through continuous waterfalls

Not the count of tears, the pain of cries
The sounds of laughter that is of a thousand radiant stars
At the end of it, the falls unite the ocean

A journey worth taking, a life worth loving
Relationships of love, undefined yet infinite meanings
Life of love, the love of life
Untitled, with infinite meanings

My Life, that was never Mine

What do I see, that I saw
Life that was built on fantasies
My world as it appeared
The journey that ultimately manifested

Striving to work toward the life I saw
Foregoing the joys in the life that was
Forgetting this is life too, today,
Tomorrow looked prettier and I worked a little harder

What did I gain, that I had assumed lost
Tunes and it's lyrics that did not sync
Life and it's story that belonged to me,
That I longed for it to weave together

Belonged to another was mine,
All that was mine, I refused to accept
What the world was, I yearned for
As the world continued to seek mine

Hoping for happiness, discontent with satisfaction
Defined not by smiles that bring tears
Nor loud laughter that never seized
I look back today, what do I see?

Life filled with joy, World discontent with their own
Seeking the lyrics for my tune,
Forgetting that what was my own, 

Words and music that formed a song

I look back... I see the lives
Of missed happiness, Unaccepted love
Longing moments, uncherished memories
Life that was my own, that never belonged to me...

Fly Away Home

I've left my nest and flown far
I look back hoping to see my future
A ray of hope, a silver lining
A future that gives me my nest

Hopes Together

We are asking you

The request for you to say yes

We yearn for that day

That truly brings us together

We love you, we respect you

Moments with you are cherished,

Moments to be with you are dreamed

And yet, you refuse

One nod, one smile, one yes

A hope still burning wild in us

We look to you with eyes filled with dreams

For you to see it, for you to accept it

We know it is difficult for you

A life lived too long this way

For you don't know of life our way

And yet, we know it is not impossible for you

The world knows it, accepts it

It has been done, 

Even when you say no

But we wait..we wait because of our hope

No, we don't need you

We dont need your nod or your smile

We want you, because we know

We are because of you

We stand tall and speak to you

Because you showed us how

You taught us to have strength

Values that we should believe in

So here we are, asking you

Rooted in our values, our strength,

Our love.

With hopes still burning wild in us

For one nod, one smile, one yes from you.

Strong Hopes

There you are, across the seas
Tides so high, waves so soft
The mountains so tall, my sight so faint
Hopes so strong, strength so weak

My sight par the horizon,
In faint hopes to meet
Like the river, yearning to touch,
the soft sand on the shore

Nostalgic times become my life
Memories plenty, life so little
Survival is all I have,
Until the day we meet again

The nourishment, the love
None of that is here, my love
The passion for you, the yearning I have
For that one feel, one touch of you

Your aroma so divine, your words of music
The touch of you, the warmth you share
You taught me to love,
you built the passion in me... For you

Years passed by, time stood still
Your beauty vivid in me,
My love for you is all I have
One sight of you, is all I ask

Miles away, in a world so alien
I seek, I strive, I look to a day to unite
not because you gave me all I have
because you showed me what I have

Words don't do justice
To explain the melancholy in me
For happiness is with you,
Until the day I meet you again,

Each day passes in the hope to meet
My good old love, my beloved country